ThanksGiving

I wonder why we picked turkey instead of turdukken. If all of us used turdukken, we could kill three species of bird of\ver the simple one, that must be the difinitive difference.
On an unrelated matter, I would like to discuss how things like John Madden's deep fried monstrosity is the cause of thousands of injuries across the United States. To many fried food is the best food, its fast its easy, hard to screw up, high in calories, and most of all, requires little to no skill whatsoever. This is marred by the fact that deep fried related injuries plague americans with grease burns.
Why deep frying your turkey has become the house hold tradition over the time consuming skill-requiring basting process is the same lowest denominator thinking that allows crap shows like heroes to remain on air. However Delicious albeit risky it is. As those young one's run around they just might bump that turkey and cause a pot of boiling, or near boiling oil to fall on them and make a mess on the floor. The cooking process is also dangerous, as turkey is a heavy genetically altered and often grouchy thing that people try to cook, they grossly underestimate the strength it requires to coral and corner one into the fryer. That is why it is of course, favorable to kill your Turkey first, and often freeze it for the opportune moment of thanksgiving. As a certified food technician, the aspects of frying frozen food are apparent on a daily basis. However to the average Joe, the concept of ice hitting a vat of boiling oil doesn't render consequence in their minds. This often leads to the oil boiling over and causing the same effects as the small children, a mess on the floor, a ruined turkey, and an unhappy bunch of mufti-degree burns. Additional to this is the fact that people don't realize that it is hard to gently lower a bird that weighs roughly twenty pounds into boiling oil in a slow and controlled manner. This is also again why it is favorable to fry a dead turkey. It is a two man, and one stick job, to properly lower a turkey into a fryer without collateral damage. Get your crap right people, we just want to eat. Another danger of the fryer is that the oil is often heated by an open flame. Seeing as oil is often equated with flammable, I feel i need no longer explain the ramifications of this.

silken: Made or consisting of silk.
rusticate: 1.To go into or reside in the country; to pursue a rustic life.
transitive verb:1.To require or compel to reside in the country; to banish or send away temporarily.2.(Chiefly British). To suspend from school or college.3.To build with usually rough-surfaced masonry blocks having beveled or rebated edges producing pronounced joints.4.To lend a rustic character to; to cause to become rustic.

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